


absolution

by jonphaedrus



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-12
Packaged: 2017-12-26 09:15:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/964224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonphaedrus/pseuds/jonphaedrus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wants someone to hate him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	absolution

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rethira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rethira/gifts).



Alvin grabs his wrist too hard once. When Jude makes a startled, pained noise and checks to see that Alvin accidentally broke his skin, Alvin breaks down, apologising at his feet, begging for forgiveness and hatred in the same breath, even when Jude smooths the hair back from his face, kisses his skin, reminds him it’s all right, they’re all right.

 

Sometimes Alvin loses his temper and screams until Jude starts to cry, and he looks like someone has stabbed him through the chest, and he refuses to touch Jude for days until he breaks down on the couch, sobbing into his hands while Jude rocks him back and forth and promises safety and love into the older man’s hair.

 

Alvin loses his temper with the cat once and screams and screams and screams, getting angrier and angrier until he punches the wall and his hand almost goes right through it. He feels Jude’s eyes judging him, staring at the back of his head, and he slumps, broken and defeated, even when Jude tries to calm him down.

 

"I’m awful," "You aren’t." "I’m sorry." "You have nothing to be sorry for." "Please hate me. Please hate me. I  _want_  you to hate me I want you to hate me and leave me.” “No, you don’t. And no, I won’t.” “I wish I had never been born.” “I don’t.” “I wish I didn’t exist it’s all my fault.” “It isn’t, and hush. Please don’t ever wish that.”

 

There is a part of him that wants someone to hate him.


End file.
